shallow

Haven't blogged in forever, I know, but something's been on my mind lately.

I've just been realizing lately how shallow and ignorant I am. I'm not saying this to get attention. And I don't want people to tell me that it's not true or try to make me feel better about myself. Cause it is true, and I need to realize these things.

I've been realizing for a while now (I've known this for a long time, but it really hit me lately)

I depend on attention way too much.

And...I don't need it. And I don't deserve it. So...why do I want people to care so much about every little thing I do? My life is no more interesting than any other person's. I'm not a celebrity. I'm a seventeen year old girl, and honestly not much is going on in my life.And this school year this far I've been getting a lot less attention than I'm used to.

And it is SO good for me. And honestly I'm enjoying it. I've thought so much more independently the last few months than I have in a long time. I'm finally learning what I want out of life.

When I'm not talking about myself (which I do way too much..) I find I'm running out of things to say!

I am ignorant. I've also been realizing just how little I know about the events going on in the world right now. In our country. I'm not aware. Even in some of my very good friend's lives. I don't know what they've really been up to. I've been stuck in my own little world of Kylie. And it's so stupid. There are really big things going on in the world. And there are also things that I know about but I haven't been standing up for enough.

I don't want to be shallow. and I don't want to be ignorant.

just a look into my thoughts.

Go the Distance

one of my favorite songs of all time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7YRe5uvLws&feature=related

Kylie and Cassie: Weekdays on NBC

Cassie (my dog) and I could have our own sitcom. Our relationship is a strange one. See...I feel like God gave Cassie to me to learn some things about life. He sure has a sense of humor.

Cassie, is too much like me sometimes in all the wrong senses. She's loud...whiny...doesn't know what she wants most of the time, and she...as my good friend Stephen would put it "abuses the power of being cute". She's obnoxious and she gets away with it. I mean...look at her little fluffy face! She lays down smack in the middle of my bed after I've made it, refuses to move, gets up at an ungodly hour of the morning and starts whining at me for attention cause she's bored, she sits by the couch when I'm reading and trips me when I get up, she won't go outside when it's raining but oh boy can she be a pain! I've been so close to getting rid of her...

I guess now I know how my parents feel about raising me. :P Ha. I mean I don't trip them when they stand up or lots of other dog things that Cass does...but I can sure be whiny and obnoxious sometimes! And really difficult...and loud...but they have the same philosophy about me that I have about Cass.

I love her...so I guess she's gotta stay. :P

just a random look in to my incredibly ordinary life.

My friend Job

"When I get to heaven, I wanna go find Job, I wanna ask a few hard questions, I wanna know what he knows. " - Sara Groves (What I Thought I wanted)

I'm not gonna try to preach about the book of Job, but basically it's one of my favorite books of the Bible, and when I have a hard time, I turn to the book of Job. Cause basically, I've got life so easy compared to Job, and it reminds me that God's in control of all situations. Even everything Job went through, and every little thing I'm going through now.

¹³"If you prepare your heart,
you will stretch out your hands toward him.
¹⁴If iniquity is in your hand, put it far away,
and let not injustice dwell in your tents.
¹⁵Surely then you will lift up your face without blemish;
you will be secure and will not fear.
¹⁶You will forget your misery;
you will remember it as waters that have passed away.
¹⁷And your life will be brighter than the noonday;
its darkness will be like the morning.
¹⁸And you will feel secure, because there is hope;
you will look around and take your rest in security. [ Job 11:13-18]

"I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted." [Job 42:2]

Ahhh I just love those verses. :) There is hope and God is unstoppable.

Room

No I didn't completely redo my room...My walls are wood and I like to think I live in a treehouse. I'm in the process of covering the walls with photos and inspirational quotes (I got the quotes thing down!) And now I've moved a keyboard into my room so I can start practicing not only music theory but the piano I hope to be learning soon. So here it is. :)

I placed the keyboard by the window, to better serve my inspiration...though there isn't much of a view anyway...But yeah! Obviously the photos fail to show my desk for school and my dresser and such, but yes, this is it!

And no it is not messy. I like to think of it as artistic.

Senior

On Tuesday I will start my first class as a Senior in High School.

I don't believe it. Didn't I just start ninth grade? It's so strange to me that it seems so close, yet so far away...it doesn't even make sense. But I remember it so well. I had braces, and a pair of patchy green shoes that I wore everywhere, I was so excited to be in Pilgrim. I took my outside classes at Cheiftain and Co-op. I became a Christian on my first youth retreat.

Now I'm seventeen, and instead of looking up to the senior class, they're now looking up to me to be a good example. I've had three years of High School, I've done three shows, I've done a lot of growing up and God has shown me so much more than I knew entering High School. Now I'm taking classes at community college and thinking about the future a whole lot more. So much, in just three years.

And I know that there will be so much more to learn and love this year, and I'm so freaking excited for it! Here's to Senior Year, may you bring fun memories and laughter. And may we all learn a lot, and have the time of our lives. :)

New Place!

So I'm moving over to Tumblr. Check it out.

songsbeheard.tumblr.com

What a week.

So this is annual breakdown week. Every year since Pilgrim, I've had a breakdown this week because of stress. So far I'm doing okay! Been pretty stressed, but some of my teachers have been understanding and given me extensions on Math assignments, so that's helping me out a lot. :) Llama face.

So lots has happened! Sunday I got to see my twin, Arden A. She is brilliant. Maybe you remember her from when I went to the football game? Yeah! So I got to hang out with her and Chris, and Christian. Had some pretty fun times in the car. Enjoyed listening to the Perdues jam...pretended I could dance on a whim like Christian...it failed. :P

The rest of the week consisted of lots of homework and stress. I realized late in the week how much I needed God. You know how when you get busy, you push off your quiet time? Yeah. I am SO guilty of that. Stephen was talking to me at MCI. He was saying how if we're putting God's glory first, then we're always going to have our quiet times. Our quiet times, yes are spiritual food for our bodies but first and foremost a means of glorifying God by honoring him the way he deserves. That is such an incredible truth I fail to realize so much.

In other news...I got an A on my paper. Rehearsals are going good...THG this weekend. I'm a bad friend. And I like to drive the suburban.

Toodleloo!

Guess who's back?

Let's play a game of guess who's here for a visit. Lets see...he has a sock monkey named Emerson Roosevelt (better known as Abu). He's often referred to as Aladdin. He has green hair. He's been living in Turkey. He's here for Godspell.

.....

Easy Game right?

Yup Christian's back! Just a for a couple months, but I'm happy to have my friend back just the same. :D I'm not going to rant or anything now, but I will say that he's a good friend of mine and I'm glad he'll be here to hang out with for a while!!! Hoping there are many adventures to come!

Needless to say...it seems like Emmy Rose has made a new friend. :)

Birthdays :D

Several of my friends had birthdays recently so I just wanted to highlight some of them :D

Katie and Alexis- the twins, my cousins

No, they're not really my cousins. Our Moms were best friends in highschool so we're fake cousins. I've known them for almost all of my life and have been able to become closer friends with them over the past two years. I love them both so much. Katie is such a trooper (through having Crohns disease especially), and has such joy through everything. Such a sweet, quiet and gentle spirit. Alexis is crazy and outgoing, not afraid to let her voice be heard. I love both of their personalities. I remember going to Disney World with them, my 7th or 8th Birthday party, when there was a bat flying around the ceiling in the middle of the night. Doing workshops with Janice, watching Kung Fu panda, Esther, and so many more memories :D Happy Sweet 16 girlies :D

Elizabeth C

Known her for a longggg time through co-op. She's so sweet, though quiet, and has real conviction. Her quiet and gentle spirit amazes me and she's so happy. Not to mention she sings amazing and is quick to help me when I totally fail a harmony. She's now an adult. We're all so old now... We've had so many memories in co-op. that play we did and you were my aunt, and all the other plays we did too, history debates, singing around the f's piano. Watching Cats, doing rehearsal for the Cov Life shows....its awesome. Happy Birthday Elizabeth!

David

Known again for a long time through co-op. He's crazy, outgoing, hilarious and godly. Totally fun to be around. I'm glad he's one of my good friends, we have so many memories from co-op...History class, shows, locking him in the shed...etc...and through school and the plays. We've had so much fun hanging out, making videos (which were creatively thought up by him, which I end up ruining with my fail dramatic 'acting' :P) doing photoshoots in the freezing cold and rain. Rehearsals...yeah, we've had some good times. Happy 17th you old geezer.

I thank the Lord that he keeps surrounding me with people with a heart after his own heart. These four people are such inspirations to me in different ways and Im so glad I've been blessed by their godly friendship. Thank you all so much. May God Bless you in the coming year!

more posts to come! Keep up! :D

Hello snow. It's nice to see you again.

It's always nice to look out the window

and see those very first few flakes of snow

and later on we can go outside

And make the impression of an angel that just fell from the sky.

(In like a lion-Relient K)

Here we have experienced a good amount of snow. We have at least eight inches at my house and it had been a fantastic week. :) Been doing much better about reading my Bible and praying, and I'm SO grateful to God he's helping me do that. And I'm so thankful for my friends who have been texting me verses and encouragements. :)

Since Wednesday, it's been very snowy and cold here. School's been out, I've hardly gotten to work because the studio's been closed. But, I've caught up on a lot of schoolwork so I'm very happy about that. I've gotten to relax these past few days, doing reading and homework cuddled up on the couch. I trudged through the snow with my family to McDonalds to get some food and then I spent most of Thursday afternoon and evening at my dear friends the Perdues! :D I had so much fun sledding there. Not to mention Amy and I made this brilliant snowman who's body was like six times the size of his head. hahaha. :D we had hot cocoa and talked and some people played apples to apples, it was a good time. :)

Then yesterday after getting some school done, Elizabeth, Sean and Chris came over to watch Into the Woods. :D It was great, Chris came early (he and Meghan got me those AMAZING sock monkey slippers you see above. :D) then Elizabeth and then Sean. We had pizza and soda and Netflix wasn't working so we talked and played a board game for almost an hour and a half. :P hahaha, but it was still a lot of fun. We finally got the movie downloaded and watched it downstairs, I absolutely loved having them over. :) Thanks for coming guys!

Then Elizabeth spent the night. And we had a whole lot of fun laughing and talking late into the night (but not too late, you all know how much I love sleep :P ) And this morning we made pancakes (after a run to the store to get stick butter and bacon) and she left a couple hours ago. Now I'm looking forward to my weekend. Probably gonna watch Hercules with Ramil this afternoon. :)

I hope you all have been having a wonderful time in the snow. :) Comment to let me know what you've been up to! And/or how I can pray for you. :) I'd be happy to.

His grace has washed me white as snow. :)

Kylie

If only it were easy.

Hello my blog readers, if any of you are still there.

I have been reminded of the brevity of life this past week and a half. Last week, my friend Amy past away (her story can be seen on the post previous). This was really difficult for me, and the week was possibly the longest of my life. If only this life were easy, and we could live it without any pain or suffering.

But it's not. We're here for a reason. And while we still hurt, life will go on. Our time here is so short, let's not waste it. This is what I have been learning this past week, why do I spend so much time concerned about myself and how cool I can be and how funny I am or whatever when in reality- NONE OF IT MATTERS.

We have to live in light of eternity. Life means so much. Psalm 90:12 says "Teach us to count the days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

This is what I want to do. Who's with me?

So as you see, there are some changes to the blog. I'm going for a more mature approach...less BAH! and more...ahh. Of course I'll still be sharing funny stories, and very crazy posts. That's the fun of having a blog right? But, I want to be highlighting more of what God's doing in my life and others. So while I blog about whatever hysterical thing happened that day, I'm still keeping it in perspective. :)

So I hope you readers are still there and with me. :P I'm going to try to be blogging more when I get the chance to.

:D

Kylie

I'll be seeing you Amy

This post is for my dear, dear friend Amy Calderone who went to be with the Lord at 10:59pm on January 17th.

Amy.

I love you so much. You have had one of the biggest impacts on my life. Way back in the day at Gems you were always so fun to be around. I thought you were so grown up cause you really worshipped God, which was weird for me. I wasn't even a Christian then. Then I really started to get to know you at Shakespeare Camp, when we did Romeo and Juliet years later. You were so happy even when I had a bad attitude and I was like "Man. Why is this girl SO happy?" It had an affect on me. I became a Christian a few weeks later. Then at Chieftain after I had become a Christian, I was so scared cause I didn't know anyone. Then you asked me to have lunch with you. I never felt so accepted in my life. You challenged me and my faith, apart from those long talks at lunch with you, I don't know if my faith would have lasted.You were always encouraging me, and never stopped talking about the Lord. That amazed me. Your smiling never stopped, and it made me smile and I love how you laughed and that quirky look you get on your face when something strikes as odd to you. You were a big impact on my life and I miss you.

Your absurd love of salt and olives.

Haha, how you started packing me a lunch when I always forgot mine.

Your hugs.

Your CONSTANT prayers for me.

Rooming with you at Worthy... "dear Amy...I mean Lord!" "Lord thank you for letting me eat Amy... I mean, meet Amy..." That trip was so fun.

Late night talks about God's word and his grace.

Talking about Chocolate. We are such girls.

When I stayed at your house, and we goofed off and had snowball fights with Stephen. Drinking orange juice way too loud.

All that laughter we had.

Your teasing whenever I hugged someone. "Awww..."

Your music... The songs you wrote and your love of it. Your beautiful voice.

Your absurd love of salt on your cucumbers and olives! Which I always thought the olives thing was gross.

How you always packed pasta for lunch, and when we teased you, you'd be like "What? I'm Italian!"

How You'd give me back massages late at night and just talk to me about God.

Every single conversation we had was encouraging. Every one.

You gave me stationary to write encouragement notes to others, as you had done for me. I kept in my journal. Those words are so precious.

Working with you at Butler's too...that was so incredible. You always made me smile and I loved the shifts we'd work together. We'd end up laughing, or being each other's heroes for saving the other from stinkbugs. You were always so relieved going home from work "No more stinkbugs..."

Now, you're home. And praising him forever, and I can't wait to join the party with you up there. You beat us all. You are going to be SO happy. And I am sad for me, and for your family and all those that love you, because we miss you so much. You mean so much to us, and I really can't believe you're home now. But now, you're at the Celestial City- Heaven. Dancing and praising the Lord FOREVER. I can't wait for that day.

Goodbye Amy. I'll be seeing you.

Love,

Kylie

I have read that a place exists we were made for this and I never knew

My friends told me I lost my mind I'm believing lies but I know its true

There's a place, where there's no fear of judgement or death

No more sorrow or pain or regret

Nothing but happiness forever

And when we reach the city

We'll understand the journey

To the land we were made for

The city of our King, and we'll be Home.

We'll have peace like we've never known in our glorious home, never leave again

We'll be ask to sit down and eat at a marvelous feast to our hearts content

And we'll see, for the very first time in our lives

What was hidden before from our eyes

And we will meet the one who made us.

(The Promise-Pilgrim)

"So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will come to take your joy away." John 16:22

"You heard me say to you, 'I am going away and I will come to you.' If you have loved me, you would have rejoiced, because I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I." John 14:28