shallow

Haven't blogged in forever, I know, but something's been on my mind lately.

I've just been realizing lately how shallow and ignorant I am. I'm not saying this to get attention. And I don't want people to tell me that it's not true or try to make me feel better about myself. Cause it is true, and I need to realize these things.

I've been realizing for a while now (I've known this for a long time, but it really hit me lately)

I depend on attention way too much.

And...I don't need it. And I don't deserve it. So...why do I want people to care so much about every little thing I do? My life is no more interesting than any other person's. I'm not a celebrity. I'm a seventeen year old girl, and honestly not much is going on in my life.And this school year this far I've been getting a lot less attention than I'm used to.

And it is SO good for me. And honestly I'm enjoying it. I've thought so much more independently the last few months than I have in a long time. I'm finally learning what I want out of life.

When I'm not talking about myself (which I do way too much..) I find I'm running out of things to say!

I am ignorant. I've also been realizing just how little I know about the events going on in the world right now. In our country. I'm not aware. Even in some of my very good friend's lives. I don't know what they've really been up to. I've been stuck in my own little world of Kylie. And it's so stupid. There are really big things going on in the world. And there are also things that I know about but I haven't been standing up for enough.

I don't want to be shallow. and I don't want to be ignorant.

just a look into my thoughts.

Go the Distance

one of my favorite songs of all time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7YRe5uvLws&feature=related

Kylie and Cassie: Weekdays on NBC

Cassie (my dog) and I could have our own sitcom. Our relationship is a strange one. See...I feel like God gave Cassie to me to learn some things about life. He sure has a sense of humor.

Cassie, is too much like me sometimes in all the wrong senses. She's loud...whiny...doesn't know what she wants most of the time, and she...as my good friend Stephen would put it "abuses the power of being cute". She's obnoxious and she gets away with it. I mean...look at her little fluffy face! She lays down smack in the middle of my bed after I've made it, refuses to move, gets up at an ungodly hour of the morning and starts whining at me for attention cause she's bored, she sits by the couch when I'm reading and trips me when I get up, she won't go outside when it's raining but oh boy can she be a pain! I've been so close to getting rid of her...

I guess now I know how my parents feel about raising me. :P Ha. I mean I don't trip them when they stand up or lots of other dog things that Cass does...but I can sure be whiny and obnoxious sometimes! And really difficult...and loud...but they have the same philosophy about me that I have about Cass.

I love her...so I guess she's gotta stay. :P

just a random look in to my incredibly ordinary life.

My friend Job

"When I get to heaven, I wanna go find Job, I wanna ask a few hard questions, I wanna know what he knows. " - Sara Groves (What I Thought I wanted)

I'm not gonna try to preach about the book of Job, but basically it's one of my favorite books of the Bible, and when I have a hard time, I turn to the book of Job. Cause basically, I've got life so easy compared to Job, and it reminds me that God's in control of all situations. Even everything Job went through, and every little thing I'm going through now.

¹³"If you prepare your heart,
you will stretch out your hands toward him.
¹⁴If iniquity is in your hand, put it far away,
and let not injustice dwell in your tents.
¹⁵Surely then you will lift up your face without blemish;
you will be secure and will not fear.
¹⁶You will forget your misery;
you will remember it as waters that have passed away.
¹⁷And your life will be brighter than the noonday;
its darkness will be like the morning.
¹⁸And you will feel secure, because there is hope;
you will look around and take your rest in security. [ Job 11:13-18]

"I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted." [Job 42:2]

Ahhh I just love those verses. :) There is hope and God is unstoppable.

Room

No I didn't completely redo my room...My walls are wood and I like to think I live in a treehouse. I'm in the process of covering the walls with photos and inspirational quotes (I got the quotes thing down!) And now I've moved a keyboard into my room so I can start practicing not only music theory but the piano I hope to be learning soon. So here it is. :)

I placed the keyboard by the window, to better serve my inspiration...though there isn't much of a view anyway...But yeah! Obviously the photos fail to show my desk for school and my dresser and such, but yes, this is it!

And no it is not messy. I like to think of it as artistic.

Senior

On Tuesday I will start my first class as a Senior in High School.

I don't believe it. Didn't I just start ninth grade? It's so strange to me that it seems so close, yet so far away...it doesn't even make sense. But I remember it so well. I had braces, and a pair of patchy green shoes that I wore everywhere, I was so excited to be in Pilgrim. I took my outside classes at Cheiftain and Co-op. I became a Christian on my first youth retreat.

Now I'm seventeen, and instead of looking up to the senior class, they're now looking up to me to be a good example. I've had three years of High School, I've done three shows, I've done a lot of growing up and God has shown me so much more than I knew entering High School. Now I'm taking classes at community college and thinking about the future a whole lot more. So much, in just three years.

And I know that there will be so much more to learn and love this year, and I'm so freaking excited for it! Here's to Senior Year, may you bring fun memories and laughter. And may we all learn a lot, and have the time of our lives. :)

New Place!

So I'm moving over to Tumblr. Check it out.

songsbeheard.tumblr.com